From a board member: This season offer feedback to parents as well athletes
Thursday, March 4th, 2021
By Susan Peterson
Badger Region Board Member
I’ve been around the sport of volleyball for longer than I can count anymore. I have worn countless hats and held countless responsibilities. But more than any title of coach or board member, I most relate to the role of mentor.
The role of mentor has many forms, and as I sit from the “sidelines” this year taking some time away from coaching, my most valuable mentorship role is trained toward my three daughters and their development in the game.
Let’s face it, we have had a long year of cancellations, and it’s been hard. We’ve had to adjust, change direction, and cancel things that we never would have imagined we would have to cancel. But, more than most regions out there, we are HANDLING IT. We are taking it in stride, making decisions and keeping the game going which is exactly what we all need to happen right now. The kids need it, the club directors and coaches need it, and the parents need it, too.
We have adjusted to new rules — one of which is the removal of parents in the sport all together. They’re not needed after all, they are the “extra” when you are eliminating bodies from a practice venue or a tournament. You don’t really NEED them to play the game successfully and taking them out of the equation is the easy choice. But, have we thought about the implications of this choice? Really dissected how this will impact the future of the team or club? I realize that my role as mentor in my daughter’s lives is somewhat different than other parents out there. At home we discuss situational decisions and reading their opponent. When and where there are opportunities are to score.
But the traditional club parent out there, and I have known A LOT of them out there, is used to watching their own child — like a hawk — from the sidelines or the stands. These parents can read their athletes like a book based on their facial expressions, how they are hustling, and how they are interacting on the court with their teammates and their coaches. Even parents that know very little about the skill and the game, are experts on their kids — after all, they are the ones responsible for their growing up to be contributing members of this society, right? As a club director and coach, I see the path for the year — keep the kids playing, keep the club afloat and keep competing. You are juggling a massive number of things on your plate, and I don’t think anyone faults you for the decisions that need to be made.
But, from a parent who can’t watch practices or most tournaments, I can’t help unless you tell me what is going on when I am not there. I urge and challenge you to please give feedback! Is my kid being a good teammate? Are they hustling? Are they working hard at practice? Are they demonstrating proficiency in the skills you are teaching them? Are they having success? I have NO idea. These kids are away at school all day (whether virtually or in person). As parents we see emails, grades, written feedback from teachers—we have a pretty good idea of what is going on when we aren’t there.
I remember I used to take my daughters to swim class at the YMCA when they were little. They would leave class every couple of weeks with a card evaluating their skills and their behavior as well as let me know if they were ready for the next step. How should club volleyball be any different? A couple weekends ago I drove to Minnesota to watch my kids play from the hotel room in masks. Coaches, club directors, I urge you to work together with the parents of your players. Give them written feedback on how they are doing with the tangible and intangible areas of the game. It truly is the best way to get the most out of your players.
If parents are spreading your message at home, it will have a bigger impact on their development. This is a partnership deal and we should be working together. These parents are resilient for the most part, but don’t forget — you have in your hands the two most important things in their life — their children and their money.
